This is book 2 of my 20 books of summer, a short work of non-fiction that I liked less than I thought I would. Gillian Rose died of cancer in her late 40s, and the book is pretty much packaged as a cancer memoir, but it’s much more wide-ranging than that.
The book does cover the author’s devastating cancer treatment in some detail, and also discusses others’ battles with illness and difficulty, including a moving description of her friend Jim’s death from AIDS at the height of the crisis in the USA.
I can’t not mention a passage found elsewhere in the book, in which the author witnesses what I would consider an episode of serious child abuse by an acquaintance called Yvette against her own three-year-old grandson. This is described without judgment and entirely couched in Freudian theory. I found this startling and upsetting.
I did like this quote from Alexander Herzen’s My Past and Thoughts, which Rose cites:
In order to write one’s reminiscences it is not at all necessary to be a great man, nor a notorious criminal, nor a celebrated artist, nor a statesman – it is quite enough to be simply a human being, to have something to tell, and not merely the desire to tell it but at least have some little ability to do so. Every life is interesting, if not the personality, then the environment, the country are interesting … Man likes to enter into another existence … he compares, he checks it by his own, he seeks for himself confirmation, sympathy, justification…”
I also liked Rose’s exhortation against, effectively, over-solicitous helicopter parenting, of which I have definitely been guilty (in fact a couple of months ago my mum quipped “Is that the sound of rotor blades” when I asked my teenager about her homework):
The child who is able to explore that border [between fantasy and actuality] will feel safe in experiencing violent, emotional conflict, and will acquire compassion for other people. The child who is locked away from aggressive experiment and play will be left terrified and paralysed by its emotions, unable to release or face them, for they may destroy the world and himself or herself. The censor aggravates the syndrome she seeks to alleviate; she seeks to rub out in others the border which has been effaced inside herself.”
Rose was a professor in modern European philosophy, and social and political thought at the University of Warwick, and her fierce – in fact intimidating – intellect is in evidence throughout this book. Indeed, her style is quite off-putting for the general reader, as the book is littered with academic jargon (something I spend a good part of my professional life editing out of content). In fact for a book that has some very personal topics as its subject matter, it is surprisingly adept at warding off the reader. Rose would definitely have been the sort of person to discuss Hegel over drinks. And who wants that!
First published in 1995, I read the new 2024 edition that has been published as a Penguin Modern Classic, with a new introduction by Madeleine Pulman-Jones.







